The Last Will of a Farmer

• To my wife - my overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.
• To my brother - my soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.
• To my neighbour - my clown suit. He'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.
• To the F.C.C. - my grain bin. I was planning to let them take it next year anyway.
• To the farm advisor - 50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market; I never did.
• To the junkman - all my machinery. He has had his eye on it for years.
• To my undertaker - a special request: I want six implement dealers for my pallbearers. They are used to carrying me anyway.
• To the weatherman - rain, sleet and snow for the funeral, please. No sense in having good weather now.
• To the grave digger - don't bother. The hole I'm in now should be big enough.
• To the monument maker - set up a jig for the epitaph: "Here lies a farmer who has now properly assumed all of his obligations."